Obama’s one-liners during his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
(via beingthinisnotasin)
I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend.
why wont you bump into me on the street and ask for my number and take me out for coffee and fall in love with me what am i doing wrong
I can’t bump into you if you don’t go outside
touché
(Source: heavymetalhero, via beingthinisnotasin)
choke me. but not in a sexual way. I mean like kill me.
(Source: pornolympics, via hiimjosie)
(Source: lets-go-to-work, via fuckyeahjosswhedon)
(Source: nottfromhere, via fastforwardpauseplay)
Blueberries piss me the fuck off
They’re BLUE.
but mashed, they’re PURPLE??
AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN?????
WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!
(via earthslovechild)
(Source: blue-eyed-muslimah, via hiimjosie)
